








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 29% |
| Smokes | 327 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 264 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 317 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,840 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FRYDAY | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | LilCuber | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | novaccines | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Ian_Dukeman | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | ajac | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LilCuber | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | novaccines | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Ian_Dukeman | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | ajac | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | that1guy42 | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | that1guy42 | 2 | 0.0190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | novaccines | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | LilCuber | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | ajac | 32 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ian_Dukeman | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | FRYDAY | 14 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sushiz | +1.59 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | FRYDAY | +1.27 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | Ian_Dukeman | +1.25 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | LilCuber | +1.00 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | that1guy42 | -0.99 | 83 | 53 |





