








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2211 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1936 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2137 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1761 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,964 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caution | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | jfghost | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Ian_Dukeman | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | ium | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | that1guy42 | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caution | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | jfghost | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Ian_Dukeman | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | ium | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | that1guy42 | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian_Dukeman | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian_Dukeman | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | ium | 89 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | caution | 51 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | that1guy42 | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | jfghost | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caution | +6.10 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | that1guy42 | +1.62 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | ajac | +0.72 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | Ian_Dukeman | +0.45 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | ium | -0.97 | 34 | 63 |





