








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1246 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1048 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 762 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,600 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turbosweat | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | WARTNITE | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | caution | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | ium | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | ajac | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | jfghost | 40% | 77 |
| #9 | BINGBONG | 32% | 25 |
| #10 | TomataWata | 25% | 28 |
| #11 | orange shag | 17% | 18 |
| #12 | Dr. Charlotte | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian_Dukeman | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Dr. Charlotte | 4 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | jfghost | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ium | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ajac | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian_Dukeman | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | ium | 291 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | jfghost | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | BINGBONG | 118 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | caution | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | turbosweat | +3.03 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | caution | +2.95 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | that1guy42 | +2.24 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | WARTNITE | +2.20 | 60 | 76 |
| #5 | Ian_Dukeman | +0.33 | 69 | 55 |





