








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2377 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2664 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2674 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,599,524 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Steve | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | turtleboy | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | matthias | 49% | 146 |
| #7 | NWoida | 47% | 68 |
| #8 | JVortex | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matthias | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Steve | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | memo | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | turtleboy | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | NWoida | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matthias | 356 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Steve | 282 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | NWoida | 221 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | memo | 200 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | JVortex | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | memo | +2.55 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | NWoida | +0.87 | 59 | 76 |
| #3 | Bademeister | +0.77 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Steve | -0.22 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | turtleboy | -0.61 | 49 | 36 |





