








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 22% |
| Smokes | 987 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 590 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,466 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛gaykeN #DHMasters #HyperX | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Shitty game | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | qRi | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | monkii | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Justiin- | 65% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | qRi | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | monkii | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Justiin- | 65% | 72 |
| #6 | Ruddyy | 63% | 40 |
| #7 | zany | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty game | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justiin- | 184 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | zany | 160 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shitty game | 129 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ruddyy | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♛gaykeN #DHMasters #HyperX | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty game | +1.80 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | re1n | +0.90 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | zany | +0.84 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Justiin- | +0.53 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | qRi | +0.28 | 90 | 63 |





