








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 39% |
| Smokes | 599 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 426 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,688 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zany | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Justiin- | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | re1n | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | Ruddyy | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | steve | 71% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Justiin- | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | re1n | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | Ruddyy | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | steve | 71% | 21 |
| #6 | hazetomika | 69% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hazetomika | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steve | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | zany | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | hazetomika | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | re1n | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Justiin- | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | re1n | +2.81 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | zany | +2.16 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | steve | +1.71 | 80 | 46 |
| #4 | ♛gaykeN #DHMasters #HyperX | +1.08 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | hazetomika | +1.01 | 89 | 52 |





