








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 188 | 14% |
| Smokes | 289 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,038 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkii | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ♛gaykeN #DHMasters #HyperX | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Shitty game | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | re1n | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Justiin- | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shitty game | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | re1n | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Justiin- | 62% | 37 |
| #6 | qRi | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | zany | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty game | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Justiin- | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | zany | 95 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | re1n | 84 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | qRi | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | ♛gaykeN #DHMasters #HyperX | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitty game | +2.31 | 80 | 84 |
| #2 | re1n | +0.70 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | zany | +0.59 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | monkii | +0.47 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Justiin- | +0.26 | 83 | 67 |





