








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 767 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5750 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8769 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7215 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6363 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,289,378 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karpov-506 | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | Stiass | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | VaZe | 51% | 382 |
| #4 | .A | 50% | 179 |
| #5 | Сладко дунул | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaZe | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | .A | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | meteora. | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meteora. | 749 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | VaZe | 439 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | .A | 376 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | 67 | 264 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stiass | 245 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stiass | +1.06 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | meteora. | +1.00 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | qRi | +0.81 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | VaZe | -0.13 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | 67 | -0.34 | 84 | 63 |





