








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1845 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1422 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 298 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,240 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leo | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Chicken | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Tappz | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Lare | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Zeus | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | IceAssBaby | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | qcmonetteqc | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 44% | 32 |
| #12 | Goldrosso | 43% | 23 |
| #13 | nOcRedIt | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lare | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | AzU | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Chicken | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Tappz | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | qcmonetteqc | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOFO | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tappz | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lare | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dark*tA*mEre* | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | nOcRedIt | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeus | +3.66 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Lare | +2.77 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Chicken | +2.20 | 93 | 58 |
| #4 | Tappz | +1.88 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | K... | +1.67 | 78 | 56 |





