








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21 | 6% |
| Smokes | 63 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 140 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 108 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,535 of utility $268 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJ | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | tehbebe | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | ʚïɞ | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | brookszy | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | pain | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Hackett | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | ironbobcat | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | Heyzeus -> Buying Skins | 0% | 2 |
| #14 | Flamboyant | 0% | 2 |
| #15 | skirmishx | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sliimey | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | ironbobcat | 3 | 0.0484 |
| #3 | brookszy | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | pain | 1 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | Hackett | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sliimey | 179 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | brookszy | 53 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | AbyssGFX | 18 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | ʚïɞ | 14 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | ironbobcat | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sliimey | +7.57 | 92 | 54 |
| #2 | pain | +7.24 | 94 | 61 |
| #3 | brookszy | +4.57 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | Lucky | +4.33 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | AbyssGFX | +2.38 | 69 | 58 |





