








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1191 | 25% |
| Smokes | 897 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1370 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1297 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $543,443 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldMateRocky | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | gamer with gamer ambitions | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | Lucky | 65% | 51 |
| #4 | ironbobcat | 65% | 68 |
| #5 | Zuko | 63% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ironbobcat | 43 | 0.0326 |
| #2 | Lucky | 19 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | Zuko | 12 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | T3R | 12 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | OldMateRocky | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3R | 180 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | Zuko | 136 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | ironbobcat | 132 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lucky | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | GodMxR | 120 | 0.23 | 3 min |





