








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2525 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2017 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1365 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,041 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JohnSm1th | 59% | 17 |
| #11 | Fart Smeller | 58% | 12 |
| #12 | JiNxZiE | 58% | 31 |
| #13 | Sliimey | 58% | 31 |
| #14 | exion | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ultirox | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Sliimey | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ItsNotLaura | 4 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | Rebornsoul | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | AJ | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ultirox | 204 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sliimey | 176 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | tucks | 137 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Iceo LFT | 120 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | JiNxZiE | 112 | 0.16 | 3 min |





