








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1048 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 930 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6007 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8689 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5511 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7533 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,506,989 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenn | 49% | 152 |
| #2 | cowboy | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Scottie Woods | 46% | 85 |
| #4 | marooch | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenn | 49% | 152 |
| #2 | cowboy | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Scottie Woods | 46% | 85 |
| #4 | marooch | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowboy | 17 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Glenn | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Scottie Woods | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | marooch | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scottie Woods | 274 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Glenn | 139 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | cowboy | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | marooch | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowboy | +4.62 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Asstronaut | -0.86 | 38 | 55 |
| #3 | Glenn | -1.53 | 66 | 35 |
| #4 | Scottie Woods | -2.36 | 28 | 39 |
| #5 | marooch | -2.42 | 41 | 44 |





