








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 768 | 28% |
| Smokes | 381 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 849 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,833 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vincent | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | HuskyChuck | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Glenn | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | cowboy | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Asstronaut | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asstronaut | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | cowboy | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Michael Scarn | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | vincent | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Glenn | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowboy | +4.47 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | HuskyChuck | -0.36 | 55 | 39 |
| #3 | Asstronaut | -0.43 | 41 | 54 |
| #4 | Glenn | -0.99 | 71 | 44 |
| #5 | marooch | -1.03 | 48 | 43 |





