








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1084 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 490 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2725 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2378 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4990 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3374 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,229,950 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 920 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe SaLmOn NiGiRi | 51% | 109 |
| #2 | tobi | 50% | 513 |
| #3 | BIG TUNA | 48% | 213 |
| #4 | ..... | 48% | 234 |
| #5 | J4 | 44% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tobi | 50% | 513 |
| #3 | BIG TUNA | 48% | 213 |
| #4 | ..... | 48% | 234 |
| #5 | J4 | 44% | 62 |
| #6 | EL PATO | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobi | 215 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | BIG TUNA | 101 | 0.0222 |
| #3 | ..... | 95 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | FaZe SaLmOn NiGiRi | 28 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | J4 | 17 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobi | 1669 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | ..... | 436 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | BIG TUNA | 384 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | EL PATO | 170 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | FaZe SaLmOn NiGiRi | 164 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ..... | +4.72 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | EL PATO | +1.41 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | tobi | +1.12 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | J4 | +1.01 | 61 | 47 |
| #5 | BIG TUNA | -0.25 | 69 | 50 |





