








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4064 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5405 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3898 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4278 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,912 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian | 63% | 51 |
| #2 | SaloodSnackBar | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | ray** | 59% | 123 |
| #4 | Spoon | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Temp | 56% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Peen Partavionius Finkerdongle | 50% | 50 |
| #11 | vTesla | 47% | 43 |
| #12 | TheShadowKing | 43% | 47 |
| #13 | Shroub | 42% | 45 |
| #14 | KAJUIN | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ray** | 21 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | KAJUIN | 15 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | kami | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | erzu | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Temp | 7 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kami | 503 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | ray** | 475 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | Temp | 361 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | KAJUIN | 348 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #5 | vTesla | 320 | 0.33 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temp | +1.94 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | ray** | +1.91 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | kami | +1.89 | 90 | 62 |
| #4 | Ian | +1.37 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | erzu | +1.17 | 83 | 53 |





