








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3092 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1291 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3383 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,255 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JappleJ | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Cody コディ | 54% | 106 |
| #3 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 53% | 91 |
| #4 | Drippy Faucet | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | Moses1315 | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cody コディ | 323 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Drippy Faucet | 267 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Shroub | 185 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | TotallyNormalFarts | 182 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erzu | +3.76 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | JappleJ | +3.51 | 59 | 41 |
| #3 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | +2.12 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Shroub | +0.66 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | wooss | -0.03 | 66 | 32 |





