








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4888 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3972 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3716 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4309 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,572 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bort | 68% | 84 |
| #2 | Ian | 65% | 91 |
| #3 | hydroking | 63% | 72 |
| #4 | ray** | 59% | 66 |
| #5 | Spoon | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spoon | 57% | 44 |
| #6 | Temp | 55% | 49 |
| #7 | tractorman69 | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 54% | 107 |
| #9 | KAJUIN | 49% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ray** | 22 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | KAJUIN | 20 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Temp | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Ian | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAJUIN | 624 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #2 | hydroking | 276 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ian | 272 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bartholomew Hawthorn | 254 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | ray** | 242 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kami | +3.06 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | Ian | +2.32 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | ray** | +1.85 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | bort | +1.47 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | Temp | +0.75 | 87 | 58 |





