








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2536 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1561 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2001 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,727,937 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ETK | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 56% | 189 |
| #3 | Hashmoors | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | StaGzy | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 56% | 189 |
| #3 | Hashmoors | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | StaGzy | 46% | 68 |
| #6 | Zarak | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hashmoors | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | La Frouffe | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | StaGzy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ETK | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 1164 | 0.29 | 32 min |
| #2 | Hashmoors | 500 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | StaGzy | 366 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 285 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | ETK | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | +3.52 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | antox | +0.41 | 89 | 47 |
| #3 | ETK | +0.27 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Hashmoors | -0.60 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | StaGzy | -1.70 | 53 | 62 |





