








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5841 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3878 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2802 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3280 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,245 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ETK | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | antox | 56% | 189 |
| #3 | Hashmoors | 52% | 111 |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | StaGzy | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ETK | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | antox | 56% | 189 |
| #3 | Hashmoors | 52% | 111 |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 46% | 97 |
| #5 | StaGzy | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hashmoors | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | StaGzy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | La Frouffe | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ETK | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | antox | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StaGzy | 506 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | Hashmoors | 456 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | antox | 297 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | La Frouffe | 263 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | ETK | 106 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | +3.36 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | ETK | +1.23 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | antox | +0.06 | 87 | 47 |
| #4 | Hashmoors | -0.74 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | StaGzy | -1.47 | 49 | 63 |





