








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2183 | 35% |
| Smokes | 854 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2198 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 935 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,253 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | antox | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | CARBONE | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | TardogLeVrai | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Rucksack | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | antox | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | CARBONE | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | TardogLeVrai | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | Rucksack | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CARBONE | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | TardogLeVrai | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | antox | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | 178 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | CARBONE | 68 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rucksack | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | TardogLeVrai | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | antox | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Йснсгдсбнзс | +4.11 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | ETK | +1.66 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Rucksack | +0.40 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | CARBONE | +0.24 | 50 | 47 |
| #5 | antox | -0.84 | 83 | 49 |





