








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4563 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4585 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3273 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3953 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,453 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sh1ngekiiii | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | One Wing | 52% | 224 |
| #3 | PARKiE | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | ChanMan | 50% | 252 |
| #5 | DogDick69420 | 49% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PARKiE | 51% | 209 |
| #4 | ChanMan | 50% | 252 |
| #5 | DogDick69420 | 49% | 182 |
| #6 | Teed0 | 47% | 85 |
| #7 | Vitzeel | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogDick69420 | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | One Wing | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Vitzeel | 8 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | ChanMan | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | sh1ngekiiii | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogDick69420 | 1055 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #2 | One Wing | 502 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | ChanMan | 352 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | PARKiE | 209 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Teed0 | 156 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | srircha | +2.09 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | sh1ngekiiii | +2.00 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | PARKiE | +1.36 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Vitzeel | -0.37 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | DogDick69420 | -0.72 | 49 | 73 |





