








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 36% |
| Smokes | 283 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 329 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,641 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makitahonor | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | ROGER STROGANOFF | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Rasvalapa | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Keijo | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Keijo | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | West | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | Jarza | 42% | 31 |
| #8 | Glutch Nybacka | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | West | 36 | 0.0589 |
| #2 | Jarza | 28 | 0.0526 |
| #3 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 15 | 0.0119 |
| #4 | Keijo | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Rasvalapa | 3 | 0.0216 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 184 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jarza | 156 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #3 | Keijo | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rasvalapa | 74 | 0.53 | 1 min |
| #5 | Glutch Nybacka | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarza | +5.12 | 85 | 48 |
| #2 | ROGER STROGANOFF | +5.05 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Rasvalapa | +3.80 | 86 | 38 |
| #4 | West | +1.52 | 54 | 39 |
| #5 | OLEN SUVAKKI | +0.98 | 76 | 57 |





