








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,794 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1834 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1229 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 921 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1054 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,786 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | West | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | MH KORPELA | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Jarza | 46% | 92 |
| #9 | ROGER STROGANOFF | 33% | 15 |
| #10 | Suola | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarza | 50 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | West | 34 | 0.0244 |
| #3 | MH KORPELA | 21 | 0.0312 |
| #4 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 13 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | Rasvalapa | 7 | 0.0173 |





