








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,926 | |
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1449 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2523 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2199 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,958 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Keijo | 46% | 67 |
| #10 | kottN | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | MH KORPELA | 42% | 33 |
| #12 | Touch Me | 40% | 35 |
| #13 | ♿JonaZan♿ | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarza | 31 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | MH KORPELA | 26 | 0.0417 |
| #3 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 10 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Keijo | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | BLACK SEAL | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarza | 325 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Keijo | 231 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | OLEN SUVAKKI | 187 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rasvalapa | 130 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #5 | ParadoXX | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarza | +4.31 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | fakesander | +1.73 | 55 | 43 |
| #3 | Touch Me | +1.40 | 75 | 32 |
| #4 | Rasvalapa | +1.22 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | OLEN SUVAKKI | +1.09 | 76 | 55 |





