








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6008 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4081 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5426 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,452,901 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyrie | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 55% | 199 |
| #3 | jkdsk | 52% | 337 |
| #4 | Bottomfragger | 51% | 361 |
| #5 | HeathenCat | 51% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 55% | 199 |
| #3 | jkdsk | 52% | 337 |
| #4 | Bottomfragger | 51% | 361 |
| #5 | HeathenCat | 51% | 326 |
| #6 | NeO_NeX | 49% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | HeathenCat | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Bottomfragger | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | jkdsk | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | NeO_NeX | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bottomfragger | 1828 | 0.23 | 61 min |
| #2 | HeathenCat | 598 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | jkdsk | 592 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 200 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | NeO_NeX | 186 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | +1.53 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | HeathenCat | +1.06 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | Bottomfragger | +0.95 | 55 | 83 |
| #4 | NeO_NeX | +0.49 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | [2Lr]C@rlok | -0.28 | 55 | 54 |





