








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 615 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10682 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10400 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6376 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7804 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,095,730 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 56% | 100 |
| #2 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | 51% | 361 |
| #3 | HeathenCat | 50% | 277 |
| #4 | jkdsk | 49% | 338 |
| #5 | Kyrie | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | 51% | 361 |
| #3 | HeathenCat | 50% | 277 |
| #4 | jkdsk | 49% | 338 |
| #5 | Kyrie | 49% | 43 |
| #6 | NeO_NeX | 49% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | HeathenCat | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | jkdsk | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | NeO_NeX | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | 955 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | jkdsk | 589 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | HeathenCat | 509 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | NeO_NeX | 318 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | [2Lr]C@rlok | 121 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappyAchilles never Tilted :^) | +1.08 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | HeathenCat | +0.84 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | NeO_NeX | +0.58 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | Bottomfragger | +0.55 | 56 | 81 |
| #5 | [2Lr]C@rlok | -0.34 | 53 | 59 |





