








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 241 | 28% |
| Smokes | 191 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,782 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jik | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Mikey | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | D4W_xK3RMZx | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | pickles | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Indian Street Food | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Phukstick | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | SlimJim | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Marty | 36% | 33 |
| #10 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 34% | 32 |
| #11 | dhore | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marty | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | dhore | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | SlimJim | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | pickles | 1 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dhore | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Marty | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phukstick | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | SlimJim | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jik | +7.75 | 58 | 75 |
| #2 | Indian Street Food | +7.51 | 31 | 11 |
| #3 | sayT | +5.09 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Marty | +1.09 | 58 | 34 |
| #5 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | +1.01 | 45 | 37 |





