








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3189 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4230 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3125 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2592 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,254,428 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muffin enjoyer | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Tarmo | 54% | 93 |
| #3 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 54% | 80 |
| #4 | ហេMMoll | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Doof | 50% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Doof | 50% | 197 |
| #6 | ⱥ𝕟𝓒υ ♡ | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | Komeetx | 45% | 96 |
| #8 | bRownie:) | 43% | 209 |
| #9 | SVL | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRownie:) | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Tarmo | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Doof | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Komeetx | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRownie:) | 296 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 206 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Komeetx | 194 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Doof | 155 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tarmo | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muffin enjoyer | +1.74 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | SVL | +0.89 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | bRownie:) | +0.76 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Tsifka | +0.40 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | Tarmo | -0.40 | 60 | 53 |





