








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 854 | 20% |
| Smokes | 917 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1348 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1199 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,691 of utility $310 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Orc Slayer | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Twan | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Skinnypenis | 41% | 225 |
| #4 | DuXs | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Orc Slayer | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Twan | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Skinnypenis | 41% | 225 |
| #4 | DuXs | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skinnypenis | 23 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Twan | 8 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skinnypenis | 682 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Twan | 117 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | DuXs | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | The Orc Slayer | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRIXT3R | +1.26 | 80 | 45 |
| #2 | The Orc Slayer | +0.69 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | Twan | +0.26 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | DuXs | -0.27 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Skinnypenis | -1.84 | 41 | 60 |





