










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 28% |
| Smokes | 304 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 349 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,849 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twan | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | The Orc Slayer | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Skinnypenis | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | TRIXT3R | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twan | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | The Orc Slayer | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Skinnypenis | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | TRIXT3R | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRIXT3R | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Skinnypenis | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Twan | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skinnypenis | 99 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | TRIXT3R | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Twan | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Orc Slayer | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twan | +1.19 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | TRIXT3R | +1.01 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | The Orc Slayer | +0.57 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | DuXs | -0.27 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Skinnypenis | -1.76 | 41 | 65 |





