








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1090 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 579 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4284 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6307 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7722 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7781 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,432,578 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1091 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ksm1th[sofrito] | 51% | 158 |
| #7 | CreamPieStar | 51% | 178 |
| #8 | D'Sean Strickland | 49% | 203 |
| #9 | Nipz | 49% | 53 |
| #10 | Gage | 43% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ksm1th[sofrito] | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CreamPieStar | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | D'Sean Strickland | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Gage | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Virus | 7 | 0.0029 |





