








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3045 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3146 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1540 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2179 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,156 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAV!TY | 50% | 113 |
| #2 | Thom | 49% | 114 |
| #3 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | i skip leg day | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Thom | 49% | 114 |
| #3 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | i skip leg day | 45% | 60 |
| #6 | Lunc | 45% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAV!TY | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | i skip leg day | 13 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Lunc | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Thom | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunc | 320 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | GRAV!TY | 255 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Thom | 202 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | i skip leg day | 188 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRAV!TY | +2.56 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | Lunc | +2.06 | 45 | 64 |
| #3 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | +1.90 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | i skip leg day | +1.30 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | -1.11 | 31 | 47 |





