








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3744 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5909 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3540 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4995 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,720,149 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i skip leg day | 55% | 94 |
| #2 | Bacardi Razz & Up | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | bårdo | 49% | 114 |
| #4 | Lunc | 46% | 384 |
| #5 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bårdo | 49% | 114 |
| #4 | Lunc | 46% | 384 |
| #5 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | GRAV!TY | 45% | 209 |
| #7 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i skip leg day | 27 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Lunc | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | GRAV!TY | 18 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | bårdo | 17 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunc | 1006 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | GRAV!TY | 599 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | i skip leg day | 333 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | gwnneenstukcheddarkaas | 325 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | bårdo | 298 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i skip leg day | +2.58 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Bacardi Razz & Up | +1.87 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | GRAV!TY | +1.33 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Lunc | +1.07 | 41 | 61 |
| #5 | I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT | +0.83 | 47 | 62 |





