








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 34% |
| Smokes | 679 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 781 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,092 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OTTO | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | donpollo2982 | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | ykkosvaantaja | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | Moo Moo🐄 | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | donpollo2982 | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | ykkosvaantaja | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | Moo Moo🐄 | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | Addeks | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donpollo2982 | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Addeks | 2 | 0.0213 |
| #3 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Moo Moo🐄 | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | donpollo2982 | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ykkosvaantaja | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Addeks | 19 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | OTTO | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donpollo2982 | +2.87 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Paul "The Fox" Evans | +0.75 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | OTTO | -0.09 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | ykkosvaantaja | -1.17 | 77 | 42 |
| #5 | MOM-D34D ponglenis007 | -2.68 | 70 | 52 |





