








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 848 | 25% |
| Smokes | 784 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 909 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,383 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowdoy | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Sven | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | G6E | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | i cant frag | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Otis | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | G6E | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | i cant frag | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Otis | 50% | 54 |
| #6 | curtis | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | ʎǝsoN | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | G6E | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | curtis | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Otis | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | i cant frag | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 261 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Otis | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | G6E | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | i cant frag | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | curtis | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowdoy | +1.44 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | ♕major bag alert♕ | +1.23 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | Sven | +0.99 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | G6E | +0.31 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | Otis | -0.01 | 71 | 59 |





