








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 660 | 22% |
| Smokes | 960 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 841 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,444 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | curtis | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | ʎǝsoN | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Sven | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | G6E | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | ♕major bag alert♕ | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | ♕major bag alert♕ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | curtis | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | G6E | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | i cant frag | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 169 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♕major bag alert♕ | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | G6E | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | i cant frag | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ʎǝsoN | 18 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | +2.20 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | ♕major bag alert♕ | +0.83 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | G6E | -0.15 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | Otis | -0.40 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | ʎǝsoN | -0.48 | 75 | 46 |





