








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3170 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4575 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4451 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2167 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,680,080 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tento | 70% | 56 |
| #2 | gtv | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | eepy | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | Slicedbread | 51% | 247 |
| #5 | fent fairy | 50% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eepy | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | Slicedbread | 51% | 247 |
| #5 | fent fairy | 50% | 283 |
| #6 | K1ngBurrito | 50% | 149 |
| #7 | FredEx | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fent fairy | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | FredEx | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tento | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | gtv | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slicedbread | 331 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | FredEx | 326 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | fent fairy | 190 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tento | 175 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | gtv | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tento | +4.38 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | eepy | +1.90 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | Udderly terrible | +0.98 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | fent fairy | +0.45 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | FredEx | -1.09 | 51 | 52 |





