








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5621 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5382 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3292 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4412 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,970 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Klósett | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | Whirlys | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Cucumber | 54% | 142 |
| #4 | elis.tor | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Sharp | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | elis.tor | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Sharp | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | Ragnaration | 42% | 83 |
| #7 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 42% | 67 |
| #8 | Bogi | 29% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elis.tor | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Ragnaration | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Cucumber | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Whirlys | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucumber | 209 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | elis.tor | 182 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | [Democrat] Joe Biden | 133 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Whirlys | 119 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sharp | 116 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucumber | +4.75 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | elis.tor | +3.99 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | alephnullxd | +1.76 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | Whirlys | +1.24 | 59 | 42 |
| #5 | King Klósett | +1.01 | 71 | 45 |





