








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3409 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3531 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3985 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,504 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leffe | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | tjug0 | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | SK ツ | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | cURRYgUN(aUTIsm) | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | MarZ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjug0 | 1145 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | cURRYgUN(aUTIsm) | 917 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | SK ツ | 328 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | MarZ | 252 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | drage | 118 | 0.20 | 3 min |





