








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4347 | 47% |
| Smokes | 2341 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 269 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,117 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I AM BATMAN | 24 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | tjug0 | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | drage | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Leffe | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SK ツ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjug0 | 614 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | I AM BATMAN | 548 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | SK ツ | 184 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | drage | 107 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | MarZ | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |





