








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1593 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1970 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,029 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandaabear | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | bloo :3 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Silent | 59% | 78 |
| #4 | S0LDI3R | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | .heck// | 56% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | S0LDI3R | 56% | 123 |
| #5 | .heck// | 56% | 84 |
| #6 | Nerm | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | Phantom | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | Drimi | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .heck// | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Drimi | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | S0LDI3R | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Phantom | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Silent | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0LDI3R | 311 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | .heck// | 196 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Silent | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pandaabear | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Phantom | 71 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0LDI3R | +3.31 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | .heck// | +2.24 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Phantom | +1.57 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | bloo :3 | +1.37 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | Pandaabear | +0.56 | 45 | 80 |





