








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3446 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3222 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2142 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1925 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,426 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌸oatmeal🌸 | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Raya | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | smiq | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | bloo :3 | 56% | 91 |
| #5 | Rektbaka | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Alcohol Abuser | 35% | 40 |
| #14 | ǀ-KosiiceK-ǀ | 33% | 12 |
| #15 | Ǥ℻ | 31% | 16 |
| #16 | bashful kitten | 29% | 17 |
| #17 | zoeyorly | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bloo :3 | 241 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | S0LDI3R | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rektbaka | 106 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Niyah | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | .heck// | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |





