








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,303 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ostemannen | 53% | 73 |
| #9 | Temp0h | 53% | 30 |
| #10 | snydehans | 50% | 16 |
| #11 | KlekzZ | 40% | 42 |
| #12 | mat1109 | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ostemannen | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | KlekzZ | 8 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Owen4k | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | kaergaardeN | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | mat1109 | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlekzZ | 148 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | mat1109 | 135 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | kaergaardeN | 109 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Owen4k | 107 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jakob | 99 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Av3ry | +3.17 | 67 | 37 |
| #2 | KlekzZ | +2.31 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | Jakob | +2.23 | 68 | 81 |
| #4 | snydehans | +2.00 | 96 | 50 |
| #5 | Owen4k | +1.89 | 71 | 52 |





