








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 932 | 35% |
| Smokes | 638 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 581 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,283 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | snydehans | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | ツ Tapzツ | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | KlekzZ | 43% | 30 |
| #10 | kr3a7ur | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | PLUCKY | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlekzZ | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | kr3a7ur | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | PLUCKY | 4 | 0.0200 |
| #4 | stor man D | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | snydehans | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KlekzZ | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | kr3a7ur | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ツ Tapzツ | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | stor man D | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | T4X FRAUD | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |





