








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 649 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,705 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .TreppG | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | FlorianPlays | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | Pryzed | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Pfannekuchen_Heinz | 46% | 90 |
| #5 | Kapitän zur See | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pryzed | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Pfannekuchen_Heinz | 46% | 90 |
| #5 | Kapitän zur See | 44% | 45 |
| #6 | Passi | 43% | 100 |
| #7 | PC Principal | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Passi | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Kapitän zur See | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Pfannekuchen_Heinz | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | .TreppG | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | PC Principal | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlorianPlays | 264 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kapitän zur See | 253 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Passi | 198 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pryzed | 175 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pfannekuchen_Heinz | 142 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pryzed | +1.59 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Pfannekuchen_Heinz | +1.39 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | .TreppG | +1.32 | 92 | 66 |
| #4 | Kapitän zur See | +0.68 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Passi | +0.39 | 78 | 55 |





