








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 513 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1740 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4153 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3324 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,442 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broski | 48% | 451 |
| #2 | Devilish | 46% | 257 |
| #3 | Mclovin | 46% | 443 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 45% | 154 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 36% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broski | 48% | 451 |
| #2 | Devilish | 46% | 257 |
| #3 | Mclovin | 46% | 443 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 45% | 154 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 36% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mclovin | 37 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Devilish | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Broski | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilish | 483 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | Broski | 453 | 0.05 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mclovin | 256 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 250 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Thanesus | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilish | +2.13 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | hunter hunter | +1.35 | 42 | 48 |
| #3 | Broski | +0.99 | 40 | 56 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | -1.58 | 43 | 41 |
| #5 | Mclovin | -2.79 | 9 | 53 |





