








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1926 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2697 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3235 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,620 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IndecisiveOne | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | hunter hunter | 48% | 451 |
| #3 | Devilish | 48% | 212 |
| #4 | Mclovin | 46% | 381 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 35% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IndecisiveOne | 50% | 147 |
| #2 | hunter hunter | 48% | 451 |
| #3 | Devilish | 48% | 212 |
| #4 | Mclovin | 46% | 381 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 35% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hunter hunter | 44 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Mclovin | 38 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Devilish | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Thanesus | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilish | 412 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | hunter hunter | 277 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mclovin | 258 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | 248 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Thanesus | 76 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devilish | +2.01 | 74 | 54 |
| #2 | hunter hunter | +1.24 | 42 | 49 |
| #3 | Broski | +1.07 | 41 | 56 |
| #4 | IndecisiveOne | -1.30 | 44 | 41 |
| #5 | Mclovin | -2.56 | 9 | 55 |





