








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2547 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3771 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2380 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,504 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | trasher | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | KampaSimpukka | 43% | 207 |
| #10 | Konna | 40% | 65 |
| #11 | Jesse. | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KampaSimpukka | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Adeby | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Pentti Köyri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Polarix | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | 634 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | KampaSimpukka | 381 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pentti Köyri | 246 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | trasher | 149 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | +2.25 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | Adeby | +1.65 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | Jesse Salo | +1.49 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | Kurikka | +1.04 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Polarix | +0.89 | 59 | 67 |





