








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2001 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1398 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1290 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1191 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,156 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boris Jeltsin | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | 49% | 90 |
| #3 | Kurikka | 45% | 53 |
| #4 | Polarix | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Adeby | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Adeby | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 44% | 96 |
| #7 | Konna | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | KampaSimpukka | 42% | 113 |
| #9 | trasher | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoxoNi | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | KampaSimpukka | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kurikka | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Boris Jeltsin | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | 472 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | NoxoNi | 392 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | KampaSimpukka | 218 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kurikka | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Konna | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adeby | +3.65 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | NoxoNi | +3.02 | 75 | 73 |
| #3 | Kurikka | +1.64 | 63 | 62 |
| #4 | ♥ Leiskaa ♥ | +0.46 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | Pentti Köyri | +0.18 | 56 | 70 |





